Holy_and_Nice's Xanga

A Collection of my Thoughts

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 05:50:58 GMT

I have a friend who doesn't believe in God. He's smart and a nice guy, but without faith. So I'm going to try to use this to devise something I can give to him.

He says he's realistic; he won't believe in what he can't see. But if we could see God, or hear him, or touch him, etc. then there would be no such thing as faith. Everyone would know he existed, and the world would ceise to be free willed right?

But maybe

Maybe he's looking for something physical. Something of this world...Maybe a guy with a beard, maybe a beam of light, maybe a burning bush. Maybe he expects something of God. But what I think is God isn't material, but what you see when someone agree's to come to church with you for the first time, or when someone stops to help you pick up your dropped groceries, or when someone lets you stay at their house when you couldn't be home.

God gives us many wonderful, beautiful things. It is a shame if you can't see that. Maybe if he's looking for something awe-inspiring, something spectacular, something God like...just look around...

Good Night

God Bless

Kenny~

Verse not found

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 03:21:48 GMT

I lied. Ever happen to you? It happened to me. I'll not stop using xanga. Nuff said.

So life now...

Finished a semester of ICC recently. Wasn't bad, but could have gone lots better. I was lucky to have some nice teachers. I have heard others aren't as. But overall, ok.

Finding funding for another year of ICC will be difficult, but not impossible. I put out some apps, and got a response (^.^). Lowes shall be getting me in for an interview soon.

Along with ICC funding, I'll have to start supporting myself. I am moving out (circumstances unmentioned) and shall attempt living solo...er...well, with roomates. It will be closer to ICC and the church then before.

But the biggest deal with my life at the moment, isn't my report card, or what I will be working, or even where I will be living...The biggest christian influence in my life is leaving.

Lee is special enough to get his own paragraph =)

Lee has done more for my spiritual life then the rest of the world combined (yes, including church camp). He helped me in times of need and supported me in endeavors i undertook. His departure leaves me assuming he's not leaving to "get a new change of scenery". But regardless of why, I will use what he tried to teach, tell, and show me while here. People need to be loved. People need to be helped. People are not as different that we need massive barriers separating us. We are God's people, not God's denominations. Just because we go to different churches (or don't) doesn't mean one is right and others are not. I do not believe God would let it get so bad as only one sect of Christianity would get into Heaven. It is not mine, nor yours, place to decide this. Live in fellowship and love. Be a servent toward one another, as Jesus did. Love God with all your heart. The world is divided, and there is enough God to go around. What I try to do, honestly, is look at it not like this: He's a catholic/methodist/jew/muslim/hindu...but look at it like this: He is a child of God.

I may have butchered the point he tried to convey to me, but what I got out of it is good enough for me.

I know I have obstacles ahead. I know it will be hard. I know I might fail. But...

...God...

...

...loves...

...

...me...

I will miss you Lee, God Bless everyone,

Goodnight

there

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:25:58 GMT

i think its fixed. 9/20/87 is what you should see.

...

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:22:57 GMT

i just now noticed my birthday is wrong? how could i honestly mess that up haha

=(

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 18:12:53 GMT

my dog is going to be put down today. he helped me alot...when my friends wouldnt be my friends, he was. he also helped me with God. no matter what happend to my dog, he loved me. no matter what happend to me, he loved me. no matter what i did, what i was going to do, what i didnt do...my dog didnt care. thats how i saw God...

what now?

pray for me if you would

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 07:58:43 GMT

ah...yeah...sooooo I wasn't able to continue...I could give an excuse, but it wouldn't change the matter.

I do find it very very very hard to read like a lesson and not a novel. STILL looking for a tutor on that. Prayers for me?

Anyway,

It's approcing a year's time since I started church. Feb 9 will be a year since baptism. But I must say...looking back...comparing to before (religion)...well, lets just say I'm struggling. Is that weird? I dunno, but if I look back to then and now...I'm out friends...and in friends...so complicated...

Its just...and please forgive me sounding weak...I'm scared I could be...pulled back(?)...I'm a good leader(ish) type person, or have been told this, but what I lead is very easily changed. I really really really dont want to go back...but there is so much...people...can't make...too hard...

...I have Christian influences affecting me, but

Nevermind...

...I'm a hypocrit...sorry guys...

Yet another late entry

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 05:06:40 GMT

Again, I am writing late. Its 11:43 p.m. but I'm sure God would rather me do it late then not do it at all. So here goes:

I understand what it is talking about a little. Verse 3 says, "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart." So, I'm figuring that it means to have them with you always. "Bind them around your neck"...So where it like a necklace? What I get from this is you where necklaces for no other purpose then fashion. You can be seen without it, but you have it for people to look at. So we should show kindness to all and speak the truth (God) to them. Pretty cool.

"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding" - Proverbs 3:13. I understand this, because I myself feel better after a good bible lesson (which, sadly, I am coming across less and less). There is something about it...kinda like the song 'It is right with my soul'...I dunno...

I do think that verse 17 is pretty cool too. "Her [wisdom] ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace." It's simple. Wisdom is peace. The wise should not choose non-peaceful paths.

Verse 25 is quite intense. "Do not be afraid of sudden fear, nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;" First off, I wasn't aware of any 'prophetic' scripture outside of Revelations. This is straightforward though...WHEN, not IF...God's saying to not be afraid of the onslaught of the wicked...and I'm thinking 'wicked' refers to those who don't follow his word...how bad then, must this onslaught be, if God says to not fear it. I mean, He is pretty much telling you to brace for it...hmmmm...And, I guess I will see it...Such confusion...

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due..." I need to work on this one. People are nice to me, yet I say nothing. I see people struggle, yet I walk past in silence. I guess I am to feel it in my heart when it is due to people...and I do...so I appologize now if ever I have bypassed my chance at giving something, anything, that qualified as 'good'. I will try.

Enough for now,

Kenny~

Ah...this one is a late one hah (11:30 p.m.)

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:28:13 GMT

But I did read it. And I think I get this one a little better:

It talks of how if you stay and listen to God's rules/words/commands then you will have all the 'knowledge' you need. It says you will be protected in ways you wouldn't, at first, see. Ways like discretion and understanding. This is pretty cool, cus if you think of it, having knowledge of something and avoiding it all together is MUCH better then having to guard against it when it happens.

It also talks more about the evil people...

Again, they walk down a path of death and despair...and again, they choose not to follow the Law of God...I think there might be a connection...

Until Tomorrow people,

Kenny~

Proverbs Chapter 1

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 00:06:33 GMT

So I started the 'read a chapter in Proverbs' thing today...tis better then not reading the Bible...but my takes on it:

The first 7 verses, I am thinking, are about what you get outa Proverbs. "4...To the youth knowledge and discretion," Yeah, kinda one of them what you get outa it things, ya know?

8-19 are about sinners. It gives lists of things not to do and reasons not to do them. Sinners will, essencially, get whats coming to them. And by sinners, I mean people who choose, of their own free will, to ignore God's word. People who are violent, mean, and ruthless.

20-33 is about wisdom(?). This one kinda boggles me...it talks about what wisdom is...and how wisdom is fearing the Lord. "29 Because they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord." Hmmmm...I don't know on this one...Fear is a pretty bad reason to follow someone. You can see how that worked out in the world (Stalin, Hitler, Castro). And I'm just not sure I can fear something I love...they are pretty polarly opposite, Fear and Love. Can you love something you fear? the dark or the boogieman. Or can you fear something you love? Being with friends or warm, sunny days. I can't...

However, it does say "33 But he who listens to me shall live securely, and shall be at ease from teh dread of evil." So yeah, you listen, you safe...you fear? A bit of befuddlement to Kenny it is.

God Bless

Kenny~

A bit of alright

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 08:56:33 GMT

This one will be a little less...blasphemic lol

Today (actually yesterday since I'm writing this at 3 am) I went to put in job apps everywhere. I ended up at Twistee Treat by the high school, so I decided to go visit Lee (again, this was predetermined as I had his book to return. It's a good book). And for anyone who didn't already know: I don't drive, cus no car and Lee lives WAAAAAAAAY all the way in the boondocks. He also lives up a VERY steep hill. So I was walking there =)

Upon reaching my half-way point of my 'trek-o-the-hill', I realized something. But I thought about it some more until I reached the office. That was a freaking steep hill. And I made it up.

So it got me thinking, this is a lot like life. Starting from my house, I have a bunch of twists and turns, but its got a nice view. There would be small problems (i.e. Stoplights, rain, hills) so it wouldn't be perfect. But it was worth it. I put in a lot of apps and got exersice.

But upon reaching the Office, I realized something else as well: it is also like my journey to God. I'm going to compare to Lee for something, and I hope he will forgive me. Consider the Church building to be God. Just play along. Now consider your home to be your body, if you will. Comparing your body to God, you have to get your soul into it: You. Now, if you look at some people's background, experience, lifestyle, family etc. you find some have it a lot easier to get to God. Lee's trek to God is a CONSIDERABLE amount shorter than mine. Lee has had that lifestyle and whatnot though. If you consider my distance, what I have to go though to get to God, its almost overwhelming.

BUT

Here is the thing. In life, you get what you are given. By that I mean, you can only use or partake in what you have. My journey to God may be long, but that's if I'm walking. I have help to get there. That is where Liz comes in. She has brought me to church countless times. And all those times, I only thought she was taking me to a building. But if you look at it through the other perspective, you see that she is helping me come to God, not the Building. And she's not the only one either. I have had many people take me, all of which I see now are bringing me NOT to hang out, BUT to be closer to God and to learn more about him. I don't think you could find one person that has given me a ride that could tell you they brought me so I could socialize.

And

Last of all, I have found out, today, that I am perfectly capapble of coming to church myself. Speaking in the spiritual sense, I can very well put effort into it and come to God without someone holding my hand. The journey was tough (ish), but I made it fine. I was not dead. I was not beaten. I was not persecuted. All because it was only me and God. If you think in that sense, it make it a bit easier. Things, life, may be hard. You may stumble or fall away. You may experience things you would rather soon forget. But God has given us the best gift of all. You have feet...now get up and use them...